9 October 2017 Zero

Dear family and friends,

This week was an interesting learning experience. We worked really hard and we put a huge effort into getting this area up on its feet, but in the end this week ended as my first week in the mission with zeros. Technically we taught two less-actives this week, but now those lessons don´t count towards us, so it was a bit of a punch in the gut.

Each day we put in a solid effort. I can probably never say that one day of my mission was perfect, it´s very easy to slow the pace, waste five or ten minutes, not talk with a few people, or distract oneself for even just a few minutes. Basically every day of my mission there is always something that I could have done better, some big, some small. We´re weak, we´re not expected to be perfect, but we´re expected to try. In spite of our efforts this week things just didn´t work... we contacted people with potential in the street, but when we got to their houses on the pre-scheduled time, nobody was home... several times. Darlan, who we taught last week for example, cancelled the two appointments that we tried to make this week due to travels and business.

So, when we got home Sunday night, we added up our weekly results like we always do, and we rediscovered that 0+0=0. I sat an thought for a bit, and I came to an interesting conclusion.

All my mission I feel like I´ve done a decent job. However, like I said earlier, I can say that very frequently there was just a bit that I didn´t put into it... I think that the Lord has stopped waiting for me. He is now with holding all of the blessings that he could give us until I start to do better. The Lord has probably been happy with my work, but he is not satisfied.

These last few days I said things to Elder Hawkins like "man, I don´t know what´s happening, I had areas with much more challenges in the past and I still managed to at least pull off a few new investigators and a few lessons each week. I dunno what the deal is here."

After saying sentences like this a few times, I caught myself. I said that I did those things, I think that I am the one capable of finding new investigators and teaching lessons, when in the end I have always been just the tool, not the worker. It´s funny though, because I´ve already been taught this lesson, I learned the same thing in my last week serving with Elder Thompson, but I´m still forgetful.

So last night Elder Hawkins and I decided that all we need to do is do the best that we can and then trust that the Lord will let us teach the elect if should be his desire. We made a list of "sins and solutions" together. We listed every little mistake and thing we did wrong from the whole week, things we wanted to improve, and on the other side a plan on how we would correct each one.

So yeah, I hope that this next week is better.

Due to all that, unfortunately I don´t have much more to say! I´m getting to know Elder Hawkins a bit more every day (It´s a slow process, remember, we never speak english together!) He´s starting to speak better and understand at a simple and steady pace. He has shown some progress and still has a lot of desire to do the work. One day I was on the phone talking with an investigator and he took the initiative and started to talk to people around us. Unfortunately, the poor guy gets rejected a lot and sometimes people dont understand him but the key is that he is trying. I give him a big pat (smack) on the back each time too, he´s doing a great job.

Also, don´t misunderstand! I´m doing really well, I´m enjoying the work! I know I talked a solid chunk about our difficulties, but it´s just what´s been on my mind lately, don´t worry, my chin is still raised high!

That´s a wrap,

Elder Ward